Miscellaneous Funnies

[youpiao]

Thusly comes such references as "immaculate heart," or "immaculate heart of Mary."

Tedski the Backslider

[cocollectibles]

And only fitting when said at Notre Dame (Our Lady) University, Immaculate Reception!

[dianealthea]

NO SCHOOL TODAY

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go, said his mother.l"
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school, said the son."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the principal!"

[noernberg]

He he he!

[cocollectibles]

My inconclusive travel plans for 2012

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, and I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.

[noernberg]

Oh! And I think I've been in Conclusive, but I don't remember for sure.

And I've been in Ept, but I couldn't tell what the heck was going on there.

[dianealthea]

I've been driving on the highway and signs point toward Crossover but nothing is there........where does Crossover lead to anyway?

[cocollectibles]

I know, those stupid highway signs. I had an accident coming on the freeway because the stupid sign ordered us to "merge" and we only collided.

[youpiao]

Geez, now I know I'm getting old.

Yesterday I went to donate blood, and I was turned away.

My blood type's been discontinued.

Tedski

[youpiao]

Speaking of Archie Campbell, if you haven't heard the original story of Rindercella -- you know, the girl who found her pransome hince because she slopped her dripper -- here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=nJv_YXIXBsE&NR=1



Tedski

[Deano]

I used to really enjoy this thread years ago, yet it has seemed to die. I have an old one that I rememered from years back..................Mel Tillis told a story about going up the hill to visit his cousin. When he gat there his cousin was fishing with a long stick into the owl/out house stool. (Yes our restrooms/bathrooms used to be outside in the times.) Anyway when he asked his cousin what are you doing his cousin replied I dropped my jacket in the hole. Mel said your not going to keep it are you....His cousin replied no but it has a sandwhich in the pocket......... Justa a joke............Take care all.................

Deano

[tedlawrence]

Here's one & it's a true story not a joke: Many years ago, during the Christmas season, my late Maternal Grandmother came home one day after work. She told us that she heard a crazy song being played on the radio at work. My Dad asked what was crazy about it? Granny replied: they are singing about an atomic bomb.

My Dad said that did not make any sense. So he asked her if she could remember the song. She said yes. It went something like this: oh atomic bomb, oh atomic bomb etc. She sang the tune as best as she could remember.

My Dad said: that song is not about an atomic bomb it's, "Der Tannenbaum" which is German, for Christmas tree. It's an old German Christmas song.

That is like 50 years ago & I still remember the rest of us laughing at my Grandmother's expense. Ted.

[EclecticCollector]

I used to really enjoy this thread years ago, yet it has seemed to die. ..................Mel Tillis
Deano

I like Mel Tillis....... For all the folks who don't know, Tillis has a terrible stutter/stammer........He is a great singer in spite of his difficulty speaking
A story goes around, the 1st time he met Dolly Parton, he said "nice ti ti ti ti ti...............................
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[youpiao]

Here's one & it's a true story
Ted.

Which reminds me --

What's the difference between a fairy tale and a sailor's story?

One starts off, "Once upon a time,˝ the other starts, "This ain't no bulls***."



Tedski

[Deano]

I used to really enjoy this thread years ago, yet it has seemed to die. ..................Mel Tillis
Deano

I like Mel Tillis....... For all the folks who don't know, Tillis has a terrible stutter/stammer........He is a great singer in spite of his difficulty speaking
A story goes around, the 1st time he met Dolly Parton, he said "nice ti ti ti ti ti...............................
v
v
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teeth

His daughter and we all know who she is said on Christmas morning he would come down the stairs saying Mer, Mer, Mer, Mer, Merry Christmas all. But yet it never hindered his singing.